Well a few months back I wrote about the love of a father and daughter and how happy it makes me to watch that bond grow between Jeff and Savannah. I also expressed my hope in connecting with my dad. Well I have an update.
For Christmas I decided to get my husband’s family tree done. This is something we have talked about in the past but just have never done and I thought it would be a great gift for him and turns out he loved it. In my search for his family I searched mine as well. I was able to get the names of my 2 half sisters and with the help of Facebook I found them both. And believe it or not they both live less than 40 miles away. I was nervous and excited at the same time. How do I approach this? What do I say?? Will she even know about me?? I am the product of an affair. Back in 1970 when love was free and everyone loved one another my mom and Fred loved and ta da me.. so now you see my predicament.
So I looked at pictures and realized that Kristen (Krissy) and I had a mutual friend. So out of fear I emailed the mutual friend and asked how well she knew Krissy and that I think she may be my half-sister. Her reply “We are great friends. I’m going to call her now”. Panic set in.. and a few minutes later I received and email saying she would love to talk to me and I received a friend request and that was the beginning.
She called and we talked and she was EXTREMELY nice. She had been looking for me since high school and she was so glad that we connected. I am very grateful for this because it could have went a completely different direction. Even though it wasn’t my fault she could have wanted nothing to do with me. So we ended up meeting and I love her. She is kind and sweet and we have so much in common. Krissy has only recently reconnected with Fred within the last 3 years and her sister still doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. When we met she had yet to tell her family about me which I completely understand. After we met a few times and talked on the phone we discussed telling Fred and how we each felt about it. I was all for it but I left it up to her. She called him immediately. A few days went by and I didn’t hear anything as far as a response but hey I’ve waited 41 years whats a couple more days.. So when we spoke again I asked what Fred’s response was and she said he is still denying paternity..
Now keep in mind my mother had to go to court and they had to take a paternity test and he had to pay child support…. REALLY.. Not the fairy tale ending I was hoping for. To think your whole life that maybe just maybe your dad is looking for you too and get hit in the face with this..UGH.. I won’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt but I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. It’s his loss. I mean what a looser. He’s 65 years old and still not taking responsiblity for his actions. Krissy on the other hand told me she was not happy with his response and told him exactly what she thought. Thanks Krissy.
So at Christmas Krissy was making a trip to see him and she asked if I would like to write him a note and she would give it to him. Honestly at this point I really didn’t know what to say. Well I did but I didn’t think it would be appropriate to write. But I wrote him a letter and sent him a picture. He wouldn’t even read it. Can you believe this guy.
So thru out my life I have wished for a father. Someone to call dad when I really have all I need. I am content to watch Jeff love our daughter. THAT gives me more joy than any he could ever give. On the bright side I have a wonderful sister that I have a feeling will always be apart of my life and I really look forward to meeting her mom. I hope that goes well too. I am not sure if the other sister will be receptive but we will see.